the business of living
by neverephemeral
Summary: 'I remember the healing tent,' Fili murmured, 'I remember you,' he scrunched his brows together as if he had a headache, 'is this a memory or a dream, Sigrid? Was it real or is my mind twisting it'


**Thank you again to all of you who support this story and my other stories! It means so much!  
Part 6! (:**

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**"**_**K**__ili!"_

Sigrid shot up in bed, her eyes adjusting quickly from sleeping to waking; it only took a nudge to her leg to realize that Fili was having a night terror, _again. _Fili had said that since the battle he hadn't been able to go without having them. Sigrid wasn't surprised, he had nearly died; along with his Uncle and brother, anyone would have nightmares. Since they were married, his night terrors had gotten better, but he still had them.

"KILI!"

"Shh," Sigrid leaned down; brushing a hand over his forehead, pushing back the hair that had fallen into his face while her other hand caressed his bare arm, trying to unclench his fist, "Kili is alive and well. You're having a nightmare, Fili."

Fili stirred, his head turning to the sound of her voice.

"That's it," Sigrid leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I'm right here, you're safe, Fili. Your brother is safe, your Uncle. Wake up," she squeeze his hand, finally having been able to get him to unclench his fist.

Fili's eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times at the ceiling above him.

Sigrid laid beside him, continuing her motions with her hands, soothing him back into reality and trying to calm his heart. She smiled gently at him when his eyes fell upon her and she leaned down, giving him another kiss to his forehead. She pulled back, gave his hand another squeeze, before she moved to rise out of bed. Fili's hand clenched around hers, stopping her.

She glanced back over her shoulder at him and her heart nearly broke at the look upon his face, _fear. _"I'll be right back," she squeezed his hand, "I'm going to build the fire back up, its died down some during the night and some water for you." She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "I'll be right back."

Sigrid worked quietly and quickly. While she needed to build the fire up because a chill had settled in their room and Fili needed some water, it also gave him some time to compose himself privately. She knew that when Fili awoke from a nightmare he was a little out of sorts. It took him some time to sort through everything, bring his mind back to the present. She was always there though, his rope that led him back through the fog.

Sigrid returned to bed, kneeling beside Fili; who sat up against the headboard and handed him a mug of cold water. She watched as his hand shook slightly and she took the mug from him when he was done.

"Night terrors are a small price to pay for surviving a battle," Fili said, his focus on the fire that was going strong now, in the fireplace against the wall across from their bed.

"I don't think they're small at all," Sigrid said, looking at him, her brows furrowed together. Nightmares were horrible things and she wouldn't wish them upon anyone. They tortured the person just as much as the action that caused the nightmares; she would know, she had them too.

"A consequence for living," Fili's voice sharp and low.

Sigrid chewed on her bottom lip, not sure how to respond to that. She looked over to the fire for a moment before she turned back to her husband, "at least you're alive."

Fili chuckled, "_at least_."

"Your Uncle and brother are alive," Sigrid said, her voice gentle with concern, "so isn't your mother. I don't think they would consider your well-being, _least_." She looked down, picking at the material of her night gown, "I know I don't."

She heard Fili sighed before he lifted her chin up with his finger, making her look at him, his thumb brushing against her cheek and corner of her mouth, "nor I yours, _my wife_."

* * *

She smiled at him, kissing the pad of his thumb before she turned and grabbed the empty mug, getting up to refill it. Another thing nightmares did was make you thirst something fierce for water.

_At least for her they did_.

"I remember the healing tent," Fili murmured.

Sigrid paused in pouring the water from the pitcher into the mug and turned to face him.

"_I remember you_," he scrunched his brows together as if he had a headache, "is that a memory or a dream, Sigrid? Was it real or is my mind twisting it?"

She froze, her knuckles turning white on the handle of the pitcher. She nearly dropped it from her hands and would have if her grip wasn't so firm. _How could he remember?_

"Sigrid?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Fili, who in turn was staring at her with questioning eyes.

"I..."

Fili's eyes widened, "_you_ were in the healing tents, at the end of the battle?"

Sigrid sighed and sat the pitcher back down on the small wooden table, taking a deep breath, before she turned back to the dwarf that sat up straighter in the bed, staring at her; like a hawk would to its prey _almost_.

"There were so many wounded," Sigrid began, walking back over to their bed and sitting down on the edge of it, not looking at Fili, "I had to treat the wounded. I helped in anyway that I could. It was Bilbo who came and got me, telling me that they needed help." She shook her head, willing the tears that clouded her eyes to not fall. "Tauriel was treating Kili, Bilbo and Gandalf had Thorin and I had you..."

"I woke up," Fili said and she looked up at him, "I woke up and saw you. You were… were… _humming_," he looked over at her, his eyes wide, "I was on fire from the pain and you were humming while wiping my brow."

"You weren't up for very long," Sigrid said, "all three of you were in and out."

"You didn't tell me," Fili said. "Why?"

Sigrid shook her head, "I didn't think you remembered. I didn't want to bring it up and remind you of that dark time. I'm sorry, Fili."

Fili sat up straighter, his eyes sharp, "you walked the battlefield. _You saw_."

Sigrid nodded. The images of the bodies littered on the field and throughout Dale would forever be in her mind.

"Nightmares," Fili stated.

Sigrid nodded.

"_Sigrid_."

She shook her head and looked up at him, "The consequence of living." Sigrid offered him a nonchalant smile that she failed miserably at.

Fili leaned forward and tugged her to him, making her fall against his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around her.

Sigrid let the tears fall against his neck as he rocked them gently from side to side, _humming_.

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**_Sorry it was short. :/  
Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it! (:_**

**_-KT xo_**


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